Recistigarea feminitatii pierdute: P Dukan dr nutritionist : Barbatii prefera femeile cu forme

Cartea dr nutritionist Dukan (care a creat o dieta celebra pe care din pacate o incearca si femeile normoponderale) este un manifest impotriva uciderii feminitatii si merita sa fie citita de toate femeile si mai ales de femeile care au mania kilogramelor in plus. Cartea este editata la Curtea Veche http://www.curteaveche.ro/barbatii-prefera-femeile-cu-forme.html Fragment : ”Femei de toate vârstele încearcă, de mai bine de o jumătate de secol, să se înfometeze, spunându-şi că vor fi mai frumoase şi mai seducătoare dacă vor fi slabe. Ele se simt vinovate dacă mănâncă şi se inhibă dacă un bărbat le atinge rotunjimile. Şoldurile, coapsele, obrajii, chiar şi genunchii sunt emiţători sexuali naturali, pe care specia îi posedă de la începuturile ei şi care nu depind nici de persoana în sine, nici de societatea în care ea trăieşte, ci de gene şi de instincte. Iar natura nu creează niciodată un emiţător, fără să creeze şi un receptor potrivit. Acest receptor e privirea bărbatului care descoperă o femeie. Dacă are forme, chiar şi forme pline, dacă e durdulie sau planturoasă, femeia trebuie să aibă încredere în emiţătorii ei sexuali, să înveţe să-i preţuiască. Şansele ei de a declanşa dorinţa, de a-i oferi plăcere, seducţie şi ataşament unui bărbat, de a construi o legătură, un cuplu şi, în cele din urmă, de a fi fericită sunt infinit mai mari decât ale unei „slăbănoage“ la modă în zilele noastre. Autorul îşi îndeamnă cititoarele: „Parcurgeţi această carte. Ea v-ar putea oferi suficientă forţă şi spirit critic pentru a rezista cumplitei presiuni actuale în favoarea unei talii de viespe. Puneţi-vă, poate pentru prima oară în viaţă, întrebarea: Şi dacă aş fi mai frumoasă şi mai sexy aşa cum sunt?“ Fragmente si aici : http://www.eusunt.ro/carte-Barbatii-prefera-femeile-cu-forme~2781/ Nutritionistul vorbeste voalat de tulburarile de alimentatie cauzate in mare parte de presiunea mass-media, revistele de moda, creatorii de moda. Celulita a ajuns sa fie “o boala” pusa pe tapet de tot ce inseamna industria modei, in locul tulburarilor de alimentatie care sint intr-adevar boli. Cred ca in DSM 5 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5  nu a fost introdusa si boala numita Mania Celulitei sau Fobia de celulita (care afecteaza foarte multe femei, fie ele subponderale, normoponderale sau supraponderale) din pacate.  Aici un articol scris de un barbat : http://revistacultura.ro/nou/2009/12/celulita-razboiul-nevazut/ Sint putine femei care au constitutie filiforma, majoritatea au rotunjimi. In cabinetul lui Dr Dukan nu a vazut femei supraponderale care sa aiba probleme cu sexualitatea lor, ci femei subponderale care sa aiba mari probleme cu senzualitatea si sexualitatea lor. Da, este stiut faptul ca femeile subponderale au si tulburari hormonale, libido scazut, insatisfactie erotica, pe linga depresie si altele. Mania perfectiunii corporale, masochismul corporal se intrepatrund la aceste femei si cu ascetismul psihologic, iubirea neinceputului. Iata din cuprinsul cartii : Partea intii Rotunjime si natura Comunicarea nonverbala in regnul animal Comunicarea olfactiva: mirosurile si mesajele Comunicarea nonverbala la om Comunicarea prin miros la copil Feminitatea un cocteil biologic Rotunjimile si sexualitatea Partea a doua Rotunjimile si cultura Rotunjimile de-a lungul timpului Consecintele conflictului subtirimi-rotunjimi Nevroza animala prin contrarierea pulsiunilor Consecintele fiziologice: slabirea voluntara inutila Dupa 30 de ani slabitul te imbatrineste Cauzele tabuului rotunjimilor Cine da cuvintul de ordine ? Societatea de consum si feminismul Cine raspindeste cuvintul de ordine ? Liderii modei Partea a treia Catre o noua rotunjime Scrisoare deschisa catre barbati Scrisoare deschisa catre marii croitori Scrisoare deschisa catre jurnalistii de la revistele pentru femei Scrisoare deschisa catre industria de confectii pentru femei Scrisoare deschise cu adresa Scrisoare deschisa adresata Dupa prof biolog, cercetator Gheorghe Mencinicopschi (Noua ordine Alimentara), greutatea ideala arata asa:  „BMI indice masa corporala : BMI se calculeaza impartind greutatea corpului la patratul inaltimii : ex : inaltime 1, 74, greutate 70 kg = 23,1 kg/normoponderal (18-25 normoponderal), sub 18 subponderal, 25-30 supraponderal, peste 30 obezitate, peste 40 obezitate morbida” La rindul lui Apfeldorfer spune “O femeie de 1,68 m greutatea optimă pentru sănătatea ei ar fi 63 kg, deşi ea se vrea la 54 kg! “(pag 160, Arta de a cultiva relaţii durabile, ed TREI http://www.edituratrei.ro/product.php/Arta_de_a_cultiva_relatii_durabile/2017/) Citind cartea dr Dukan m-am gindit la diferentele dintre orient si occident privind feminitatea si masculinitatea. Occidentul a dat libertate femeii in schimb i-a rapit feminitatea. Fiecare cultura cu neajunsurile ei si putem lua ce e bun din fiecare.Ca si alta lectura de vacanta va invit sa cititi cartile Danielei Zeca Buzura (nora lui Augustin Buzura – un scriitor pe care il apreciez). O sa descoperiti sau redescoperiti misterul orientului plin de paradoxuri, plin de cruzime insa si de poezie, senzualitate, profunzime de la care noi occidentalii pot invata. http://www.121.ro/articole/art7303-interviu-daniela-zeca.html Si in final niste impresii despre dunele desertului : https://cristianaalexandralevitchi.wordpress.com/2010/01/16/dune-si-fiintare/

si http://tausance.ro/2012/02/15/frumusetea-nu-este-o-ocupatie/

Va urez sa va faceti Timp pentru ….

Va urez sa va faceti Timp pentru

– reflectare

– a va bucura de ceea ce ati realizat (perfectionismul nu va lasa sa va bucurati de ce ati realizat pentru ca nu va lasa sa vedeti nici macar micile realizari – deci – luati-va adio de la perfectionism)

– sine

– ceilalti

– a impartasi cu altii

Un exercitiu de sfirsit de an pe care l-am invatat mai demult: La sfirsitul fiecarui an scrieti o scrisoare catre un presupus prieten la timpul trecut ca si cum ati fi indeplinit deja dorintele din anul care o sa vina : Ex: „In anul acesta am facut X, Y, mi-am permis sa ….(aici puteti completa genul acesta de permisiuni https://cristianaalexandralevitchi.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/urare-cu-permisiuni/)” si alte chestiuni de suflet (am reusit sa imi vad de un hobby sau am reusit sa fiu mai rabdator/rabdatoare cu mine etc) Puneti scrisoarea bine si la sfirsitul anului care urmeaza cititi-o. Vedeti ce s-a implinit. Atentie la dorinte: este nevoie sa fie Realiste, formulate Pozitiv si Realizabile.

Cris A

Trecutul este cel mai bun profet al viitorului.
Lord Byron

Poezie – Contabilitate – de Marin Sorescu http://www.versuri-si-creatii.ro/poezii/s/marin-sorescu-8zudthd/contabilitate-6zuscnd.html

Citate despre Timp :

http://www.citate.ro/citate-timp

http://subiecte.citatepedia.ro/despre.php?s=timp

http://subiecte.citatepedia.ro/despre.php?s=spa%FEiu+%BAi+timp

Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2012/08/resolution-psychotherapy.aspx
August 9, 2012
Resolution on the Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness – Approved August 2012
Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness1
Introduction

Council voted to adopt as APA policy the following Resolution on the Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness:

WHEREAS: psychotherapy is rooted in and enhanced by a therapeutic alliance between therapist and client/patient that involves a bond between the psychologist and the client/patient as well as agreement about the goals and tasks of the treatment (Cuijpers, et al., 2008, Lambert, 2004; Karver, et al., 2006; Norcross, 2011; Shirk & Karver, 2003; Wampold, 2007);

WHEREAS: psychotherapy (individual, group and couple/family) is a practice designed varyingly to provide symptom relief and personality change, reduce future symptomatic episodes, enhance quality of life, promote adaptive functioning in work/school and relationships, increase the likelihood of making healthy life choices, and offer other benefits established by the collaboration between client/patient and psychologist (American Group Psychotherapy Association, 2007; APA Task Force on Evidence-Based Practice, 2006; Burlingame, et al., 2003; Carr, 2009a, 2009b; Kosters, et al., 2006; Shedler, 2010, Wampold, 2007, 2010);
Definitions

WHEREAS: evidence-based practice in psychology is “the integration of the best available research with clinical expertise in the context of patient characteristics, culture and preferences” (APA Task Force on Evidence Based Practice, 2006, p. 273);

WHEREAS: a working definition for Psychotherapy is as follows: “Psychotherapy is the informed and intentional application of clinical methods and interpersonal stances derived from established psychological principles for the purpose of assisting people to modify their behaviors, cognitions, emotions, and/or other personal characteristics in directions that the participants deem desirable” (Norcross, 1990, p. 218-220 );

WHEREAS: a working definition for Treatment is as follows: Treatments when used in the context of health care, refer to any process in which a trained healthcare provider offers assistance based upon his or her professional expertise to a person who has a problem that is defined as related to “health” or ‘illness.” In the case of “mental” or “behavioral” health, the conditions for which one may seek “treatment” include problems in living, conditions with discrete symptoms that are identified as or as related to illness or disease, and problems of interpersonal adjustment. The treatment consists of any act or services provided by a bonafide health provider intended to correct, change or ameliorate these conditions or problems (Beutler, 1983; Frank, 1973);
Research on Effectiveness

WHEREAS: the effects of psychotherapy are noted in the research as follows: The general or average effects of psychotherapy are widely accepted to be significant and large, (Chorpita et al., 2011; Smith, Glass, & Miller, 1980; Wampold, 2001). These large effects of psychotherapy are quite constant across most diagnostic conditions, with variations being more influenced by general severity than by particular diagnoses—That is, variations in outcome are more heavily influenced by patient characteristics e.g., chronicity, complexity, social support, and intensity—and by clinician and context factors than by particular diagnoses or specific treatment “brands” (Beutler, 2009; Beutler & Malik, 2002a, 2002b; Malik & Beutler, 2002; Wampold, 2001);

WHEREAS: the results of psychotherapy tend to last longer and be less likely to require additional treatment courses than psychopharmacological treatments. For example, in the treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, psychotherapy clients/patients acquire a variety of skills that are used after the treatment termination and generally may continue to improve after the termination of treatment (Hollon, Stewart, & Strunk, 2006; Shedler, 2010);

WHEREAS: for most psychological disorders, the evidence from rigorous clinical research studies has shown that a variety of psychotherapies are effective with children, adults, and older adults. Generally, these studies show what experts in the field consider large beneficial effects for psychotherapy in comparison to no treatment, confirming the efficacy of psychotherapy across diverse conditions and settings (Beutler, 2009; Beutler, et al., 2003; Lambert & Ogles, 2004; McMain & Pos, 2007; Shedler, 2010; Thomas & Zimmer-Gembeck, 2007; Verheul & Herbrink, 2007; Wampold, 2001). In contrast to large differences in outcome between those treated with psychotherapy and those not treated, different forms of psychotherapy typically produce relatively similar outcomes. This research also identifies ways of improving different forms of psychotherapy by attending to how to fit the interventions to the particular patient’s needs (Castonguay & Beutler, 2006; Miklowitz, 2008; Norcross, 2011);

WHEREAS: comparisons of different forms of psychotherapy most often result in relatively nonsignificant difference, and contextual and relationship factors often mediate or moderate outcomes. These findings suggest that (1) most valid and structured psychotherapies are roughly equivalent in effectiveness and (2) patient and therapist characteristics, which are not usually captured by a patient’s diagnosis or by the therapist’s use of a specific psychotherapy, affect the results (Castonguay & Beutler, 2006; Livesley, 2007; Norcross, 2011);

WHEREAS: in studies measuring psychotherapy effectiveness, clients often report the benefits of treatment not only endure, but continue to improve following therapy completion as seen in larger effect sizes found at follow-up (Abbass, et al., 2006; Anderson & Lambert, 1995; De Maat, et al., 2009; Grant, et al., 2012; Leichsenring & Rabung, 2008; Leichsenring, et al., 2004; Shedler, 2010);

WHEREAS: research using benchmarking strategies has established that psychotherapy delivered in routine care is generally as effective as psychotherapy delivered in clinical trials (Minami, et al., 2008; Minami, et al., 2009; Minami & Wampold, 2008; Nadort, et al., 2009; Wales, Palmer, & Fairburn, 2009);

WHEREAS: the research evidence shows that psychotherapy is an effective treatment, with most clients/patients who are experiencing such conditions as depression and anxiety disorders attaining or returning to a level of functioning, after a relatively short course of treatment, that is typical of well-functioning individuals in the general population (Baldwin, et al., 2009; Minami, et al., 2009; Stiles, et al., 2008; Wampold & Brown, 2005);

WHEREAS: research will continue to identify factors that make a difference in psychotherapy, and results of this research can then be reported to clinicians who can make better decisions (Gibbon, et al., 2010; Kazdin, 2008);

WHEREAS: researchers will continue to examine the ways in which both positive and possible negative effects of psychotherapy occur, whether due to techniques, client/patient variables, therapist variables, or some combination thereof, in order to continue to improve the quality of mental health interventions (Barlow, 2010; Dimidjian & Hollon, 2010; Duggan & Kane, 2010; Haldeman, 1994; Wilson, Grilo, & Vitousek, 2007);
Effectiveness Related To Health Care Policies

WHEREAS: the effects produced by psychotherapy, including the effects for different age groups (i.e. children, adults, and older adults) and for many mental disorders, exceed or are comparable to the size of effects produced by many pharmacological treatments and procedures for the same condition, and some of the medical treatments and procedures have many adverse side-effects and are relatively expensive vis-a-vis the cost of psychotherapy (Barlow, 2004; Barlow, Gorman, Shear, & Woods, 2000; Hollon, Stewart, & Strunk, 2006; Imel, McKay, Malterer, & Wampold, 2008; Mitte, 2005; Mitte, Noack, Steil, & Hautzinger, 2005; Robinson, Berman, & Neimeyer, 1990; Rosenthal, 1990; Walkup, et al., 2008; Wampold, 2007, 2010);

WHEREAS: a substantial body of scholarly work (e.g., Henggeler & Schaeffer, 2010; Roberts, 2003; Walker & Roberts, 2001; Weisz et al., 2005) have documented the effectiveness of psychotherapy across a range of problems affecting children and adolescents;

WHEREAS: large multisite studies as well as meta-analyses have demonstrated that courses of psychotherapy reduce overall medical utilization and expense (Chiles, Lambert, & Hatch, 2002; Linehan, et al., 2006; Pallak, Cummings, Dorken, & Henke, 1995). Further, patients diagnosed with a mental health disorder and who received treatment had their overall medical costs reduced by 17 percent compared to a 12.3 percent increase in medical costs for those with no treatment for their mental disorder (Chiles, Lambert, & Hatch, 2002);

WHEREAS: there is a growing body of evidence that psychotherapy is cost-effective, reduces disability, morbidity, and mortality, improves work functioning, decreases use of psychiatric hospitalization, and at times also leads to reduction in the unnecessary use of medical and surgical services including for those with serious mental illness (Dixon-Gordon, Turner, & Chapman, 2011; Lazar & Gabbard, 1997). Successful models of the integration of behavioral health into primary care have demonstrated a 20-30 percent reduction in medical costs above the cost of the behavioral/psychological care (Cummings, et al., 2003). In addition, psychological treatment of individuals with chronic disease in small group sessions resulted in medical care cost savings of $10 for every $1 spent (Lorig, et al., 1999);

WHEREAS: there is strong scientific evidence to support the links between mental and physical health, and a growing number of models and programs support the efficacy of the integration of psychotherapy treatment within the primary health care system (Alexander, Arnkoff, & Glass, 2010; Felker, et al., 2004; Roy-Byrne, et al., 2003). In fact, early mental health treatments that include psychotherapy reduce overall medical expenses, simplifies and provides better access to appropriate services and care to those in need, and improves treatment seeking;

WHEREAS: many people prefer psychotherapy to pharmacological treatments because of medication side-effects and individual differences and people tend to be more adherent if the treatment modality is preferred (Deacon & Abramowitz, 2005; Paris, 2008; Patterson, 2008; Solomon et al., 2008; Vocks et al., 2010). Research suggests that there are very high economic costs associated with high rates of antidepressant termination and non-adherence (Tournier, et al., 2009), and psychotherapy is likely to be a more cost effective intervention in the long term (Cuijpers, et al., 2010; Hollon, et al., 2005; Pyne, et al., 2005);
Effectiveness with Diverse Populations

WHEREAS: the best research evidence conclusively shows that individual, group and couple/family psychotherapy are effective for a broad range of disorders, symptoms and problems with children, adolescents, adults, and older adults (American Group Psychotherapy Association, 2007; Burlingame, et al., 2003; Carr, 2009a, 2009b; Chambless, et al., 1998; Horrell, 2008; Huey & Polo, 2008, 2010; Knight, 2004; Kosters, et al., 2006; Lambert & Archer, 2006; Norcross, 2011; Pavuluri, Birmaher, & Naylor, 2005; Sexton, Alexander, & Mease, 2003; Sexton, Robbins, Hollimon, Mease, & Mayorga, 2003; Shadish & Baldwin, 2003; Stice, Shaw, & Marti, 2006; Wampold, 2001; Weisz & Jensen, 2001);

WHEREAS: the development and/or adaptation of evidence-based psychotherapy practices for each age group have further demonstrated effectiveness in reducing symptoms and improving functioning across the lifespan. Specific challenges that emerge with age are addressed by developmental research that pinpoints the most efficacious content, vocabulary, and techniques used for different ages. As a result, substantial evidence supports psychotherapy as a front line intervention for community dwelling older adults, older adults with medical illnesses, who are low-income, ethnic minority and have co-occurring mild cognitive impairments. In addition, increasing evidence has documented that older adults respond well to a variety of forms of psychotherapy and can benefit from psychological interventions to a degree comparable with younger adults. Furthermore, many older adults prefer psychotherapy to antidepressants, and psychotherapy is an important treatment option for older adults who are often on multiple medications for management of chronic conditions and are more prone to the adverse effects of psychiatric medications than youner adults (Alexopoulos, et al., 2011; APA, 2004; Areán, et al., 2005a; Areán, et al., 2005b; Areán, Gum, Tang, & Unutzer, 2007; Areán, et al., 2010; Arnold, 2008; Gum, Areán, & Bostrom, 2007; Cuijpers, van Straten & Smit, 2006; Kazdin, et al., 2010; Kaslow, et al., 2012);

WHEREAS: researchers and practitioners continue to develop culturally-relevant, socially-proactive approaches and modalities that will allow psychologists to extend psychotherapeutic services to vulnerable and currently underserved populations such as adults, children, and families living in poverty (Ali, Hawkins, & Chambers, 2010; Belle & Doucet, 2003; Goodman, Glenn, Bohlig, Banyard, & Borges, 2009; Smith, 2005, 2010; Smyth, Goodman, & Glenn 2006);

WHEREAS: both evidence-based psychotherapy practice for the general population and culturally adapted interventions are generally effective with racial/ethnic minorities, psychologists who work with marginalized populations, such as people living in poverty and/or other socially-excluded groups, can improve the effectiveness of their interventions through awareness of unintentional age, race, class, and/or gender bias. The acquisition of multicultural competence and the adaptation of psychotherapy, whether in content, language, or approach, can improve client engagement and retention in treatment and can enhance development of the therapeutic alliance (Griner & Smith, 2006; Horrell, 2008; Huey & Polo, 2008, 2010; Miranda, et al., 2005; Miranda, et al., 2006; Vasquez, 2007; Whaley & Davis 2007);

WHEREAS: the research continues to support that psychotherapy, both group and individuals models of clinical interventions, is effective treatment for individuals with disabilities. The studies also indicate that psychotherapy is effective for a variety of disability conditions including cognitive, intellectual, physical, visual, auditory, and psychological impairments. The research supports that psychotherapy is effective for individuals with disabilities over the life span. A sample of the research reflecting the effectiveness of therapy with individuals with disabilities include: Glickman (2009), Hibbard, Grober, Gordon, & Aletta (1990), Kurtz & Mueser (2008), Livneh & Sherwood (2001), Lysaker, Glynn, Wilkniss, & Silverstein (2010), Olkin (1999), Perlman, Cohen, Altiere, Brennan, Brown, Mainka, & Diroff, (2010), Rice, Zitzelsberger, Porch, & Ignagni (2005), Radnitz (2000), and Vail & Xenakis (2007);

WHEREAS: research indicates the beneficial effects of psychotherapy as a means of improving mood and reducing depression among individuals with acute and chronic health conditions (e.g., arthritis, cancer, HIV/AIDS) (Fisch, 2004; Himelhoch, et al., 2007; Lin, et al., 2003);

WHEREAS: although some cultural adaptations already have demonstrated effectiveness as mentioned above, many underserved communities can continue to benefit from specific adaptations or demonstrated effectiveness of evidence-based psychotherapy practice. For example, current psychotherapy research suggests that racial/ethnic minorities, those with low socioeconomic status, and members of the LGBT community may face specific challenges not addressed by current evidence-based treatment. In conducting psychotherapy, practitioners are sensitive to these challenges and pursue appropriate adaptations (Butler, O’Donovan, & Shaw, 2010; Cabral & Smith, 2011; Gilman, et al., 2001; Smith, 2005; Sue & Lam, 2002);

THEREFORE: Be It Resolved that, as a healing practice and professional service, psychotherapy is effective and highly cost-effective. In controlled trials and in clinical practice, psychotherapy results in benefits that markedly exceed those experienced by individuals who need mental health services but do not receive psychotherapy. Consequently, psychotherapy should be included in the health care system as an established evidence-based practice.

Be It Further Resolved that APA increase its efforts to educate the public about the effectiveness of psychotherapy; support advocacy efforts to enhance formal recognition of psychotherapy in the health care system; help ensure that policies will increase access to psychotherapy in the health care system, with particular attention on addressing the needs of underserved populations and encourage integration of research and practice; and support advocacy for funding.

Be It Further Resolved that APA encourages continued and further research on the comparative effectiveness and efficacy of psychotherapy.

1While statements about the effectiveness of psychotherapy must be accurate yet generalized in a policy document format, research studies have not equitably investigated all factors that either enhance or diminish psychotherapy effectiveness. Full explication of the differential status of any given variable and the state of research of any given factor in the practice of psychotherapy is beyond the scope of this document. The research citations that accompany each statement provide specificity of scope, limitations, and implications for psychotherapy practice and identify the therapeutic circumstances in which research has determined that psychotherapy is soundly effective. Examples of these important moderating variables include client/patient characteristics, clinician characteristics, context factors, diagnostic classification and severity, developmental status, and factors related to such human and cultural diversity as race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation and disability status (Bernal, Jimenez-Chafey, & Domenech Rodriguez, 2009; Curry, Rohde, Simons, Silva, Vitiello, Kratochvil, et al., 2006; Hinshaw, 2007; Kazdin, 2007; Kocsis, Leon, Markowtiz, Manber, Arnow, Klein, & Thase, 2009; McBride, Atkison, Quilty, & Bagby, 2006; Miklowitz, Axelson, George, Taylor, Schneck, Sullivan, et al., 2009; Ollendick, Jarrett, Grills-Taquechel, Hovey, & Wolff, 2008).
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Seminarii

Cum se formeaza un cuplu si ce il mentine
Tipul de atasament si celelalte relatii din viata noastra
Mesajele toxice transmise transgenerational (psihogenealogie, constelatii sistemice) – Cine si ce din familia ta traieste prin tine azi ?
Ce inseamna o criza existentiala (trauma, pierdere) si cum ii facem fata
Copilul interior – cum avem grija de el
Umbra – cum ne regasim in ea
Decizii de viata – Despre stilul vietii si scenariul de viata
Stima de sine – cum sa te simti bine in pielea ta si sa stii cine esti

Criterii de participare la seminarii : https://cristianaalexandralevitchi.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/criterii-pentru-dezvoltare-personala-consiliere-psihoterapie-ambulatorie-coaching-individualsau-grup/

 

Urmariti blogul pentru detalii

Poveste despre a fi recunoscut/a, a recunoaste

A „recunoaste” pe celalalt (vezi Claude Steiner 1969 analist tranzactional) – Noi oamenii avem nevoie de strokeuri – daca nu primim pozitive – cerem negative – indiferenta e cea mai rea ….Putem sa il recunoastem pe celalalt daruindu-i mingiieri sau palme. Invatati sa va dati strokeuri pozitive (vezi : a va iubi, a va mindri cu ce faceti), invatati sa cereti strokeuri, invatati sa dati strokeuri.

http://www.emotional-literacy.com/fuzzyrom.htm

POVESTEA CALDICELELORMOLICELELOR

de Claude Steiner

Traducere de Elena Raicu

Odata ca niciodata, demult, tare demult, au fost doi oameni, Teodor si Sofia, care traiau foarte fericiti impreuna cu Ionut si Anuca, cei doi copii ai lor. Ca sa intelegeti mai bine cat erau de fericiti, trebuie neaparat sa va povestesc cum se traia la ei pe-atunci. Hipwoman

De fiecare data cand aparea pe lume cate un copil, i se dadea sa poarte pentru toata viata un saculet molicel. In acest saculet, de cate ori baga mana, gasea cate-o… CaldiceaMolicea. Acestea aveau mare trecere, caci oricine le primea, se simtea cald, moale si placut in tot trupul si asta pentru mult timp.

Pe vremea aceea era chiar usor sa primesti o CaldiceaMolicea. Cand cineva ii ducea dorul, era de-ajuns sa se apropie de tine si sa-ti spuna: “Ce bine mi-ar prinde o CaldiceMolicea, imi dai, te rog, una?” Atunci numaidecat bagai mana in saculetul tau cel moale si scoteai o CaldiceaMolicea cat o manuta de copil. Si indata ce i-o asezai pe cap, pe umar sau pe genunchi, CaldiceauaMoliceaua crestea si crestea, se intindea numai zambet de placere la lumina zilei. Atunci omul acela simtea cum parca i se vara pe sub piele si cum ii incalzeste toate madularele.

Oamenii cereau unii de la altii si isi imparteau fara grija ori sfiala CaldiceleMolicele. Caci la toti se gaseau din belsug. Si le daruiau, se-ntelege, fara plata. Peste tot vedeai stralucind cate una, de-aceea erau cu totii fericiti si sanatosi si se simteau caldicei si molicei mai tot timpul.

Insa nu toti erau asa. Caci mai traia prin acele locuri si o vrajitoare urata si intunecata la suflet. Rabdarea ei ajunsese la margini vazandu-i pe oameni fericiti. Intr-o zi mania i se aprinse de-a binelea cand baga de seama ca nimeni n-avea nevoie de leacurile ei pentru oameni bolnavi, tristi si rai ca ea. Si-ntr-o zi puse la cale un plan viclean prin care sa-i faca pe oameni sa-i cumpere leacurile.

Asa se face ca intr-o buna dimineata, pe cand Sofia se juca fericita in curtea casei cu Anuca ei cea mititica si dragalasa, zgripturoaica se apropie de Teodor si ii sopti cu siretenie rece ca de gheata la ureche: “Baga bine de seama ce-ti spun, Teodore! Ia te uita ce de CaldiceleMolicele ii da Sofia celei mici! Daca o tine tot asa, tie ce-ti mai ramane? Cand vi se vor termina CaldiceleleMolicelele, ce vei face?!”

Teodor se mira peste masura. Se-ntoarse iute si nitel infricosat catre vrajitoare: “Cum asa, vrajitoareo?! Ca eu doar de fiecare data cand bag mana in sac, dau de cate una! Doar nu vrei sa spui ca ele se mai si ispravesc?!”

“Ba bine ca nu, si de-asta am venit, sa-ti deschid odata ochii! Nu exista pe lume sac fara fund! Si odata ce v-ati ispravit CaldiceleleMolicelele, va fi vai de voi!” Si incalecand pe matura ei de vrajitoare, se duse boscorodind si razand fara noima.

Lui Teodor ii ramasese gandul la cele ce auzise de la scorpia de vrajitoare. Si incepu sa se uite pe furis de fiecare data cand Sofia dadea cate-o CaldiceaMolicea altora. I se strangea inima, caci tare mult ii placeau CaldiceleleMolicelele ei si tare n-ar fi vrut sa le vada pentru totdeauna risipite copiilor sau altora.

Era din ce in ce mai posomorat si mai preocupat. Se intrista de fiecare data cand cate o CaldiceaMolicea parasea sacul Sofiei si incepu chiar sa i se planga. Cum Sofia il iubea tare mult, de-atunci incolo dadea tot mai putine, ca sa pastreze cat mai multe pentru el.

Copiii bagara indata de seama acest lucru si intelesera ca nu e bine sa dai incoace si-ncolo CaldiceleMolicele ori de cate ori poftesti, ori ti se cere. Si devenira si ei foarte grijulii, tematori si chiar gelosi cand parintii lor dadeau altora CaldiceleMolicele. Incepura chiar sa faca scene si sa planga cand vedeau la altii cate o CaldiceaMolicea de-a lor. Si chiar daca mereu gaseau in saculetul lor CaldiceleMolicele ori de cate ori bagau mana dupa ele, se simteau tot mai vinovati ca le imparteau. Si asa se face ca devenira zgarciti si dadeau si ei tot mai putine.

Incet-incet planul vrajitoarei reusi. Daca inainte oamenii se adunau cate trei, patru sau cinci si isi imparteau intre ei CaldiceleMolicele fara nici o grija, acum ei apareau tot mai mult singuri, de teama sa nu se intalneasca cu careva care sa le ceara CaldiceleMolicele. Ba inca se ascundeau ca sa le pastreze numai si numai pentru ei.

Insa asa mergand treburile, se simteau tot mai putin calzi si tot mai putin molicei. Zambeau din ce in ce mai putin, parca se uscau si se chirceau ducand dorul CaldicelelorMolicelelor, iar unii chiar mureau din cauza asta. Boala cuprindea pe tot mai multi, asa incat de disperare, ajunsera sa cumpere leacuri de la vrajitoare, cu toate ca nu le erau de vreun folos.

Pana si vrajitoarea trebui sa recunoasca cum ca nu era de gluma, situatia se agrava. Caci daca oamenii ar muri cu totii, cine i-ar mai cumpara leacurile, si-asa bune de nimic? Asa ca puse la cale un alt plan.

Darui tuturor un sac foarte asemanator cu cel de CaldiceleMolicele. Numai ca pe cand cel primit la nastere era caldut, cel dat de vrajitoare era rece ca un sloi de gheata. In acest sac vrajitoarea cea rea puse ReciTepoasele. Acestea nu-i faceau pe oameni calzi si molicei ca mai inainte. Ba dimpotriva, ii facea reci, certareti si posaci. Insa si asa, ReciTepoasele tot erau ceva fata de nimic. Rau cu rau, dar mai rau fara rau. Ele macar ii opreau pe oameni sa se mai usuce pe picioare.

Asa ca, de-atunci incolo, cand cineva cerea altcuiva cate o CaldiceaMolicea, de frica sa nu-si ispraveasca rezerva, acela ii raspundea: “Nu-ti pot da o CaldiceaMolicea, n-ai vrea in schimb o ReceTepoasa?”

Cateodata, cand se intalneau doi oameni, fiecare avea in gand ca poate-poate de data asta va primi de la celalalt o CaldiceaMolicea. Da’ de unde! De frica sa nu ramana fara ele, deodata isi schimbau amandoi gandul si isi dadeau cate-o ReceTepoasa. Asa ca, precum bine va ganditi si socotiti, oamenii nu mai mureau, dar nici fericiti nu erau. Erau doar reci, certareti si tare, tare posaci.

Trebuie oare sa va mai spun ca vrajitoarea cea rea isi freca mainile de bucurie de cat de bine ii merge negotul ei siret?! Si ca de unde mai inainte CaldiceleleMolicelele erau toate la indemana si pentru toti, precum aerul, de-acum devenisera tot mai rare si mai pretioase?!

Nu-i de mirare ca bietii oameni erau in stare sa faca orice ca sa le aiba. Cine era mai lipsit de noroc in a-si gasi un partener mai larg la inima si mai cu dare de mana, trebuia sa munceasca din greu ca sa-si cumpere cand si cand si pe bani multi, se-ntelege, cate-o CaldiceaMolicea.

Unii devenira foarte avuti, strangeau si tot strangeau la CaldiceleMolicele, caci nu mai dadeau indarat nimanui. Ce faceau mai apoi? Le vindeau celor sarmani care si-ar fi dorit sa simta macar o clipa ca viata mai merita traita.

Se mai intampla ca unii luau ReciTepoase, care erau pe toate drumurile si pe degeaba, le puneau niscai fulgi si pene moi ca sa le acopere tepii si le ofereau drept CaldiceleMolicele. Dar falsurile astea, care semanau cu inlocuitorii de plastic, adusera si mai mari batai de cap. Pentru ca sa zicem ca se intalneau doua sau mai multe persoane si isi dadeau gratis falsurile. Dar asteptau sa se simta incalziti si buni ca inainte. Iar ei se simteau, de fapt, mai rau. Si-atunci chiar ca nu mai pricepeau nimica-nimicuta: se simteau si mai reci, si mai certareti, si mai tristi pentru ca nu mai aveau CaldiceleMolicele sau pentru ca tot schimbasera intre ei plastice de-astea deghizate in CaldiceleMolicele?! Si toata nenorocirea de pe capul lor era numai si numai din pricina vrajitoarei aleia care le varase in cap ideea ca vor ajunge la fundul sacului daca mai schimba cumva intre ei CaldiceleMolicele!

Dar sa vedeti cum o ia povestea la vale! Ca nu mult dupa aceea, poposi in locurile acelea cuprinse de mare nefericire o femeiusca vesela si plina de nuri. Parea ca n-a auzit in viata ei de vrajitoarea cea rea. Caci ce facea? Sa vezi si sa nu crezi! Impartea in dreapta si-n stanga la CaldiceleMolicele, de-i cereai ori nu. MaricicaMolicica, cum au inceput sa-i spuna, ti le aseza una-doua, ca in vremurile cele bune, pe cap, pe umeri ori pe genunchi. Unii se uitau chioras la ea si o criticau mai pe fata, mai in dos, cum ca i-ar strica pe copii. Ca-i invata adica sa fie risipitori si nechibzuiti cu CaldiceleleMolicelele. Copiii insa o iubeau tare mult, pentru ca in jurul ei era cald si bine si de-aceea faceau si ei ca ea. Imparteau CaldiceleMolicele cand si cui pofteau.

Cei mari nu s-au lasat cu una, cu doua. Au hotarat ca nu mai merge asa! Copiii astia vor ajunge sa-si risipeasca toata averea de CaldiceleMolicele. Sa se dea imediat o lege ca nimeni nu mai are voie sa-si imparta dupa bunul plac CaldiceleleMolicelele! Numai cine are permis in toata regula poate sa le imparta. Dar si atunci cu masura!

In ciuda acestei legi foarte aspre, copiii continuau sa-si daruiasca intre ei CaldiceleMolicele cand doreau si mai ales cand cineva le cerea. Si cum erau multi copii in acele locuri, cam tot atatia cati oameni mari, n-ar fi de mirare ca, intr-un tarziu, dreptatea sa fie de partea lor.

Oare cum se va termina povestea asta? Vor reusi cei mari sa isi impuna legea prudentei si a capatuirii prin economisirea CaldicelelorMolicelelor? Sau MaricicaMolicica si copiii ii vor convinge ca merita riscul sa creada ca vor avea mereu CaldiceleMolicele cat isi doresc?

Vor avea cei mari puterea sa creada? Sa creada ca acele vremuri fericite, de care si ei isi mai amintesc cateodata, mai pot exista cu adevarat? Acelea in care CaldiceleleMolicelele erau fara de numar pentru ca nimeni nu le numara?!
(Claude Steiner 1969)

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